Think about what that word means...returning something to its former owner, place, or condition. I have been praying for the restoration of our marriage. But is that what I truly want? Restoration? I want our marriage back but not in the same state it was when it ended! I want our marriage to be filled with all the blessings that the Lord would pour out on us!
This has been a difficult few months. We are learning to communicate more than I think we ever did in the 30 years that we were married. That in itself is hard for me as I am not much of a talker. I'm an introvert. Some days I don't think that this is going to work. But I think that is because I am trying to get out of communicating.
Another thing that I've struggled with during these months has been not having anything to fill my time outside of work. I "cling" to Dan, something I know he hates, because I don't have anything to do nor do I know what I want to do. I feel antsy. If that makes sense. I donated all my knitting supplies. I have a hard time focusing on a book. It's taking me forever to get through the one I have going. I'm working on finding something for ME.
This was not meant to be a pity party. I am just putting my feeling down somewhere. I hope to come back in a few months and see that we have made some tremendous progress!
Thanks for listening.
Monica
